Occupation: Chris works for the housing commission in Middlesborough. He is also the Don of the Ingleby Barwick branch of the Mafia

Hobbies: Chris likes Indie music, Quentin Tarantino films, and pursuing huge vendettas against people (See James "What Are You Having A Go At Me For" Massingham for more details.)

Nickname: Chris has this name, because he isn't THE Chris Evans, he is just A Chris Evans. This has caused him some problems in the past however. Recently, Chris, Becky "Nicest Person In The World" Pollard and myself were at one of our many local drinking establishments on a night out. After we had finished we went to the chip shop next door. As Chris and I stood waiting for our chips, whilst Becky visited the Pizza shop next door, a lad who had been sat next to us came in and asked Chris what his name was. Chris told him his name, and the lad told him that he wanted to speak to him alone outside. I watched out of the window as the lad yelled at Chris, and when he shoved him, I went outside to see what was up. The lad told me that if I didn't piss off, he would beat me up as well as Chris. Eventually Chris managed to calm him down, and told me the full story. The lad was drunk, and had mistaken Chris for someone called Nick, who had supposedly broken his girlfriends legs (I don't know why), and when Chris had told him his name, the lad thought that he had been taking the piss. In the end it was all sorted out, and Chris is no longer a wanted man.

Personality: Chris is a pleasant (if being a sarcastic bastard can be described as pleasant) person until you cross him. Chris never forgets any slight done to him, and records all the names of all the people who upset him, in a huge book of grudges. These people then dissappear one night, and are found at the bottom of the Tees with their feet in concrete (the concrete is more to break the crust on the Tees than to actually sink the person involved). This is what has led me to believe that Chris is actually Don Christopher Evonso, the leader of the most powerful mafia family in Teesside. Despite Chris's nasty side, he is going out with Becky Pollard, and they have a complete contrast in personalities.

Worst Feature: I don't dare mention anything here for fear of "sleeping with the fishes" as Chris likes to call it.

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